GRAB ON! HOW TO CARRY YOUR SNOWBOARD

Over thousands of years of evolutionary history, homosapiens have evolved to carry many different things in many different ways. They can be dexterous when holding a quill, brutish when holding a bolder, and polite when holding a fart. Thanks to some opposable thumbs and lanky arms, the options are abundant. With this in mind, keep from binding yourself to a less edgy way of doing things by raising your (heel)cup to the sky, and promising to unleash some inner creativity next time you grab your board. - William Fraser

Illustrations [¡] Dan Zimmerman

The Exec: You’re a very powerful person

The Drag: Mom hates this hold

The Sled: In Russia, your board carries you

The Mall Grab: You’re one swaggy lookin’ mall rat

The Proper: This is the closest you’ll get to being the queen