Over thousands of years of evolutionary history, homosapiens have evolved to carry many different things in many different ways. They can be dexterous when holding a quill, brutish when holding a bolder, and polite when holding a fart. Thanks to some opposable thumbs and lanky arms, the options are abundant. With this in mind, keep from binding yourself to a less edgy way of doing things by raising your (heel)cup to the sky, and promising to unleash some inner creativity next time you grab your board. - William Fraser

Illustrations [¡] Dan Zimmerman

The Exec: You’re a very powerful person


The Drag: Mom hates this hold

The Sled: In Russia, your board carries you

The Mall Grab: You’re one swaggy lookin’ mall rat

The Proper: This is the closest you’ll get to being the queen


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