Photo: Crispin Cannon
Interview: Evan Rissi
JOHN ‘CON… WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
I grew up in Windham, NY, where I learned to snowboard. Five years ago, I moved up to New Hampshire, where I went to Plymouth State University and called Loon Mountain the home resort. I’m moving up there again for season six in November.
WHAT’S WYNDHAM, NY KNOWN FOR?
Well, they have insane mountain bike trails in the summer and they’re about to have an incredible snowboard park. They just started welding a new line of about 50 rails and are putting in plaza-style features. In a few years, hopefully it’ll be known for an annual event that I’ll be hosting, starting this winter.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
PRETTY DECENT AGE. WHAT YEAR WERE YOU BORN IN?
Two thousand and fifteen minus twenty-three.
THE MONTH ACTUALLY MATTERS, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
I was born in April. That’s one thousand nine hundred and ninety-two.
SOME PRETTY GOOD MOVIES CAME OUT THAT YEAR: WHITE MEN CAN’T JUMP, ALADJOHNNY O’CONNOR DIN, CAPTAIN RON, ENCINO MAN…
I don’t think I’ve seen any from that year, but I’d love to check those out. Wait—I’ve seen Aladdin.
YOU’RE TRYING TO TELL ME YOU’RE TRYING TO BECOME A PRO SNOWBOARDER WITHOUT HAVING SEEN ENCINO MAN?
Yeah, I haven’t seen it. Looks like I’m fucked.
Switch Boardslide, Boston, MA. Photo: Crispin Cannon
DAMN. PEOPLE HAVE OFTEN COMPARED PAULIE SHORE MOVIES TO JP WALKER VIDEO PARTS IN TERMS OF INFLUENCE.
So, you’re saying Paulie Shore is the Don of acting? I’ll try to pull that movie up to see for myself.
YEAH, IT’S PRETTY SIMILAR—ALMOST EERIE. DID YOU FILM WITH JP THIS YEAR?
No, I wish I got the chance to! I rode with him at Copper for the intro shots we did, which was awesome, but hopefully I’ll hit the streets with him before we’re both done filming parts. I’ve looked up to his riding since I decided I wanted to pursue street snowboarding.
WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER ONE GOAL THIS WINTER THAT DOESN’T HAVE TO DO WITH SNOWBOARDING?
[Laughs] Good question. Maybe find a girlfriend, and just be happy no matter what happens.
BE HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT? WHAT KIND OF INSANITY IS THAT?
Well, yeah. I’m a stressor and can sometimes look at things in negative light, so I’m planning for the worst and hoping for the best
HOW DOES ONE PLAN FOR THE WORST? DO YOU PLAN THAT YOU’RE GOING TO BREAK BOTH YOUR LEGS FIRST DAY? OR WORSE, GET A GIRL PREGNANT?
Expect the unexpected. Injury is definitely in the cards for what I choose to set up. Therefore, I try to keep my calculations dialed. I don’t plan on getting a girl pregnant anytime soon!
THERE’S ALWAYS PLAN B, JOHNNY.
It’s good to have Plan C, too.
SURE. ARE YOU HAPPY WITH HOW LAST WINTER WENT?
Yeah, I had fun and am happy I made it through without any serious injuries, but I’m never completely satisfied with my parts since I always think they could be better. Then again, that’s just what keeps me hungry for the next season. As long as people like watching my snowboarding, I’m happy.
OH, I WASN’T TALKING ABOUT SNOWBOARDING. HOW MANY GIRLS DID YOU BAG?
I don’t know why I was thinking snowboarding. I guess it’s just that time of year. I could count on one hand the amount of girls I banged last year, and that’s pretty average. I didn’t have the home field advantage going to school at PSU anymore, which makes it not as convenient.
50-50, Boston, MA. Photo: Crispin Cannon
HMM, MAYBE. BUT HAVE YOU CONSIDERED A DIFFERENT APPROACH?
The “no means yes” approach?
NO, COSBY. NOT THAT APPROACH. ACTUALLY, THAT’S NOT EVEN CONSIDERED AN APPROACH!
According to JBeats, no means yes.
WHO IS THIS JBEATS YOU LOOK UP TO SO MUCH?
Any further questions about the JBeats slogan can be directed to the international brand manager, Tyler L’Heureux. JBeats is a thing my friend Brandon “Chet” Marini and I started a long time ago that turned into a crew of friends who have fun. You can follow them at @_jbeats_ .
DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER INSTAGRAM SHOUT-OUTS?
Shout-outs to @cakedsnowboards and @hmm_funy. Also shout-outs to Tyler L’Heureux for getting his Instagram deleted—you’re not missing much.
WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?
I like to cook, play golf, mountain bike, skateboard, search for new music, and recently I’ve been into learning how to make new drinks while bartending.
OH, SO YOU’RE MAKING DRINKS FOR PEOPLE NOW. TAKING THE COSBY THING EVEN A STEP FURTHER?
You could say sometimes I fuck people up and make their drinks stiff.
I’M SURE THAT’S NOT THE ONLY THING THAT’S STIFF.
THE COMPETITION BETWEEN YOU AND OTHER BARTENDERS, RIGHT?
Well, working at the longest-running bar in town, people know what to expect, so we have our own type of crowd that comes in.
SO YOU DON’T DO, LIKE, THE BOTTLE FLIPS AND TRICKS AND STUFF? TOM CRUISE IN COCKTAIL?
Maybe one of these days, but I’m still pretty new to it.
Switch Backside 540, Boston, MA. Photo: Crispin Cannon
IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THAT MOVIE, YOU SHOULD. YOU SHOULD WATCH EVERY TOM CRUISE MOVIE EVER. 1992: A FEW GOOD MEN.
If I come across it, I will. I’ll definitely let you know.
BOOM. WOULD YOU WANT TOM CRUISE TO PLAY YOU IN A MOVIE ABOUT YOUR LIFE? OR BILL COSBY?
Yeah, Tom Cruise would probably do a good job, but Adam Sandler would be a better fit.
YOU DON’T WANT HIM. OVER THE LAST TEN YEARS HIS MOVIES HAVE BECOME WALL-TO-WALL UNMITIGATED GARBAGE.
I’m thinking old Adam Sandler movies. I haven’t seen many, if any, recent movies with him.
BUT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT THE NOW, BABY! IF SANDLER COMES OUT WITH A MOVIE ABOUT YOUR LIFE TODAY, IT WOULD BE STRAIGHT TOILET. HE’D PROBABLY PLAY A WOMAN OR SOMETHING AND ROB SCHNEIDER WOULD PLAY JP.
OK, if I had to pick an actor today to play my role in a movie about myself, I’d probably say Johnny Depp.
SO YOU THINK YOU’RE THAT GOOD LOOKING?
No, he would make me better looking by playing my part. You excited to see Black Mass? Shout-out to Eugene Stancato, who will be an extra in that movie.
BESIDES EUGENE, WHO ARE YOUR SHOUT-OUTS FOR?
Shout-outs to every East Coast snowboarder, young rippers worldwide, old rippers worldwide, Black Sabbath, Brian Cook, Mark Dangler, Blue, Kleckner, Greezy Riley, Larz Brent, Taco, Devon, Douce, Terri D, PSU, Chet-u-Betcha, Moogs, CaleM, Norton, Mt. Hood, and anyone who reads this. And thanks to King Snow for thinking I’m worthy of an interview.