Words by Eric Greene
Craigslist is such a beautiful thing. Remember when you used to have to
go to the local newspaper with 4X6 photos and pay for an ad to come
out a week later if you wanted to slang something? Of course you don’t
remember that. People sold cars that way, but not snowboards.
The start of winter is prime time for selling your old shit and hustling
funds to freshen up. As soon as the snow starts to drop up top, everyone
gets horny to ride. You need to strike while the iron is hot! Clean out
your old junk, free up space, make easy money, buy new stuff, and party.
Here’s how to hock online:
1. Closing a deal on Craigslist is all about attitude. Make your ad cool.
Don’t take a shitty photo of your beat old board in your dark basement.
Make it look proper and put some personality in your presentation.
Selling used snowboard gear is shockingly easy if you butter it
2. Don’t post photos of your actual stuff. Take a screenshot from the
brand’s website and if a potential buyer wants to know about burrs on
your board’s edges, well, they can meet you on your doorstep for final
inspection, and you know their pockets will be full.
3. Always describe your beat old gear as “brand new” or “in excellent
condition.” I mean, define “excellent,” anyway. It’s so subjective. If
something works, it’s excellent. If it doesn’t work, well, that can also
be excellent in its own way. Everyone has a different perception.
4. Price it ridiculously high with an unrounded number, like $327,456.12.
People will be drawn in by curiosity and click on your ad. All you have
to do is add “OBO” to the price and make sure you hit your bottom
line. Again, refer back to that stuff about attitude and making people
come to you with cash in hand, and you’ll be closing like the pimp you
5. Don’t be afraid to put a #selfie in your ad. After you have your screenshots
in place, take your shirt off, hold your snowboard like a guitar,
and take a photo in front of the mirror. It lets the people know that
you’re a real person and you’re awesome and you’re selling your old
snowboard. They will respect you and probably buy it.
6. Don’t let anyone waste your time. After initial contact is made, move it
from email to text message so you can counter whatever bogus offer
they throw at you immediately. If the bait disrespects you with a lowball,
tell them to suck one. “Serious buyers only,” is another good addition
to your ad. People love to tell you they’re short on cash or on a
fixed income or in the midst of a messy divorce when they’re inspecting
the goods in your driveway, but their hard knocks are not your
problem. Fair is fair and you don’t get a discount for being a bitch.
7. Only accept cash. Craigslist buyers love telling you they’ll pay in cash
when they ask for a deal. Do normal people walk around with debit
machines in their pockets or accept personal checks from strangers in
our devious society? No, they don’t. Cash is king. And if they offer you
a trade? Fuck that.
8. When the deal is done, offer a money back guarantee. Stand behind
your product and say that you’ll reimburse anything that goes wrong.
It’s easy to flag their phone number and block their email, so you’ll
never hear from them again after the cash is in your pocket. As they
say: “Buyer beware.”
9. Celebrate when your inventory is sold off. Head to your local shop and
give yourself a re-up for the new season. You’re running a successful
business now, so enjoy your success and treat yourself. Show up with
some attitude and ask for a deal.