Out With The Old

Words by Eric Greene

Craigslist is such a beautiful thing. Remember when you used to have to

go to the local newspaper with 4X6 photos and pay for an ad to come

out a week later if you wanted to slang something? Of course you don’t

remember that. People sold cars that way, but not snowboards.

The start of winter is prime time for selling your old shit and hustling

funds to freshen up. As soon as the snow starts to drop up top, everyone

gets horny to ride. You need to strike while the iron is hot! Clean out

your old junk, free up space, make easy money, buy new stuff, and party.

Here’s how to hock online:

1. Closing a deal on Craigslist is all about attitude. Make your ad cool.

Don’t take a shitty photo of your beat old board in your dark basement.

Make it look proper and put some personality in your presentation.

Selling used snowboard gear is shockingly easy if you butter it

up right.

2. Don’t post photos of your actual stuff. Take a screenshot from the

brand’s website and if a potential buyer wants to know about burrs on

your board’s edges, well, they can meet you on your doorstep for final

inspection, and you know their pockets will be full.

3. Always describe your beat old gear as “brand new” or “in excellent

condition.” I mean, define “excellent,” anyway. It’s so subjective. If

something works, it’s excellent. If it doesn’t work, well, that can also

be excellent in its own way. Everyone has a different perception.

4. Price it ridiculously high with an unrounded number, like $327,456.12.

People will be drawn in by curiosity and click on your ad. All you have

to do is add “OBO” to the price and make sure you hit your bottom

line. Again, refer back to that stuff about attitude and making people

come to you with cash in hand, and you’ll be closing like the pimp you

are.

5. Don’t be afraid to put a #selfie in your ad. After you have your screenshots

in place, take your shirt off, hold your snowboard like a guitar,

and take a photo in front of the mirror. It lets the people know that

you’re a real person and you’re awesome and you’re selling your old

snowboard. They will respect you and probably buy it.

6. Don’t let anyone waste your time. After initial contact is made, move it

from email to text message so you can counter whatever bogus offer

they throw at you immediately. If the bait disrespects you with a lowball,

tell them to suck one. “Serious buyers only,” is another good addition

to your ad. People love to tell you they’re short on cash or on a

fixed income or in the midst of a messy divorce when they’re inspecting

the goods in your driveway, but their hard knocks are not your

problem. Fair is fair and you don’t get a discount for being a bitch.

7. Only accept cash. Craigslist buyers love telling you they’ll pay in cash

when they ask for a deal. Do normal people walk around with debit

machines in their pockets or accept personal checks from strangers in

our devious society? No, they don’t. Cash is king. And if they offer you

a trade? Fuck that.

8. When the deal is done, offer a money back guarantee. Stand behind

your product and say that you’ll reimburse anything that goes wrong.

It’s easy to flag their phone number and block their email, so you’ll

never hear from them again after the cash is in your pocket. As they

say: “Buyer beware.”

9. Celebrate when your inventory is sold off. Head to your local shop and

give yourself a re-up for the new season. You’re running a successful

business now, so enjoy your success and treat yourself. Show up with

some attitude and ask for a deal.